Review grid example

Review grid for “Cultural Referents and the Impossibility of Feminism in Literary and Cinemagraphic Renderings of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants“
Author of article: Lucia Lorenzi

The following covers only the first 5 pages of the essay.

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Page	Phrase	Description of Problem	Actions Taken
Page 1, Paragraph 2, Line 7	“in order to study this phenomenon, I have chosen to study […]“	Repetition.	Replaced first instance of “study” with “observe.”
Page 1, Paragraph 2, Line 10.	“fully function”	Invert words.	Corrected to read “function fully.”
Page 2, Paragraph 1, Line 1.	“we must be distinctly aware […]“	To be is a weak verb.	Corrected: “we must remain distinctly aware.”
Page 2, Paragraph 2, Line 1.	“my firm belief that nothing is inherently wrong.”	Use the conditional tense.	Corrected: “that nothing would be inherently wrong”
Page 2, Paragraph 2, Line 2.	“unless, of course, this novel is written”	Self-evident…this sentence therefore reads strangely.	This sentence has been deleted. Paragraph has been rewritten to read as follows: It is my firm belief that nothing would be inherently wrong in having a sisterhood based on a pair of jeans. Unfortunately, Brashares’s sisterhood attempts to exist in the midst of a culture that still devalues, objectifies, and attempts to modify the female body; it is an environment in which female communities are often defined by attempts to regulate the social currency of beauty, rather than the positive formation of supportive relationships.
Page 2, Paragraph 2, Lines 8/9.	“I would also like to examine how the publishing industry also abrogates […]“	Repetition.	Corrected: Second instance of “also” has been deleted from this sentence.
Page 3, Paragraph 1, Line 2.	“one that is evidently not representative”	Word not needed.	“evidently” has been deleted from this sentence.
Page 3, Paragraph 3, Line 1.	“of the author in creating their rendering […]“	Pronoun/antecedent disagreement.	Corrected: “of authors in creating their renderings“
Page 3, Paragraph 3, Line 2.	“language used; specific words, phrases, and literary devices”	Improper use of a semi-colon.	Corrected: semi-colon changed to a colon. (Rule: introduction of a series.)
Page 3, Paragraph 3, Line 3.	“as linguistic theorists point out […] as Roland Barthes points out“	Repetition.	Corrected. Sentence now reads: “and as linguistic theorists point out […] as Roland Barthes observes”
Page, Paragraph, Line	Phrase	Description of Problem	Actions Taken
Page 3, Paragraph 3, Line 5.	” (qtd in Cahir 89). “	See MLA Style for Indirect Sources.	Corrected: “(qtd. In Cahir 89).”
Page 3, Paragraph 3, Line 9.	“must carefully select which words and phrases will be included in the text”	Delete “which” – replace “will be” with “to.”	Sentence now reads: “must carefully select words and phrases to include in the text.”
Page 4, Paragraph 2, Line 2.	“Brashares has made an explicit decision […]“	Delete “explicit” – do not use this word unless the author explains their choice.	“Explicit” has been deleted from this sentence.
Page 4, Paragraph 3, Line 1.	“Writing Magazine“	If this isn’t part of the actual magazine title, don’t capitalize the first letter.	Corrected. Sentence now reads: “Writing magazine”
Page 4, Paragraph 3, Line 4.	“suggests that she is mistakenly conflating pants and jeans, using the two terms equally and interchangeably“	Delete underlined text: conflation already implies this idea, and it is therefore unnecessary.	“Using the two terms equally and interchangeably” has been deleted from this sentence.
Page 4, Paragraph 3, Line 4.	“Unfortunately.”	Delete and replace with “yet.”	“Unfortunately” has been deleted and replaced.
>Page 5, Paragraph 1, Line 5.	“manipulate and disfigure women’s natural figures“	Repetition.	“manipulate and deform women’s natural figures”
Page 5, Paragraph 1, block quote	The San Francisco Chronicle began a 1977 article on the subject by quoting an old French saying, ‘Il faut souffrir pour être belle’ […]	Title of magazine requires italics. In a block quote, full quotations marks are used. Close quotation marks to indicate end of speech.	The San Francisco Chronicle began a 1977 article on the subject by quoting an old French saying, “Il faut souffrir pour être belle” […]Quotation ends after the word “girdle.”
Page 5, Paragraph 1, Lines 16/19	“females are not only ‘[subjecting] themselves […] but have taken up”	Parallelism.	“females are not only ‘[subjecting] themselves […] but are taking up”